The brother that is. It was years ago, I guess my lack of understanding anything addiction related at that time may be the cause. Or maybe I came up with my own theory about what he meant. It's both actually. Many years ago during a phone conversation, brother was in jail once again and I was the only one still accepting his calls, he told me he broke a window at the jail with his head. Hopefully you don't know this but all of the windows at a jail are not your ordinary window glass. You or I would probably end up in the hospital with a brain injury before the glass broke. I asked why he would do something like that. His reply.... I was trying to get these voices in my head to stop. You hear voices was all I could ask at that point. His reply was something like, yeah, the ones that make me do this stuff. I don't remember where the conversation went from there. I don't remember it continuing on about voices. I have never forgotten that part of the conversation. I always chalked it up to his "inner self". You know the good versus bad in all of us. Our conscious! I let it go. I brought this conversation up when talking to other brothers girlfriend. I was informed that he was most certainly hearing voices. He was diagnosed schizophrenic while in jail. I was so shocked that I didn't even ask how long it had been since he was diagnosed. She told me he had called her after he was put on meds and told her he had never felt so good. At that moment I started feeling like I had let him down. Looking back I truly believe he was asking me for help by telling me. I blew it off. This will definitely change how I will question anything that I am told now. I will question more. I will make sure I am understanding what is being told to me. I am still learning.
Now let me introduce my nephew. He is the son of my youngest brother, I'll refer to him as D. My best description of D is a kid that never stood a chance. I have said that phrase many times now. My best explanation for that phrase comes from this.... I know Aaron's addiction and trouble is not my fault. It didn't come from bad parenting or letting him have to much freedom or not enough freedom. Growing up Aaron had the chance to do good things with his life. With D everything has been stacked against him. Parental, environmental, you name it. I know not all kids in his type of situation do bad things or become addicts but I believe the majority of kids in these types of situations will continue in the path they know. D has been in trouble several times, from burglary to calling in a bomb threat to his school. He was underage so it was all handled in juvenile court. He has been in boot camp several times. He was doing wonderful and had a great outlook while there. He now faces charges of criminal trespass, theft by unlawful taking (anhydrous), and possession of anhydrous with intent to manufacture meth. The last two being felonies. D just turned 18 in April. He is now sitting in jail. There will be no boot camp this time. He is an adult. Now, why to I believe he never had a chance? My baby brother was only 14 when D was born. D lived with his mother and her parents for awhile. Mom pretty much didn't want him. Brother eventually got custody, I think D was around 4 or 5. They lived with brothers mother at that time. As brother got a little older (more mature?) he began working construction. Those jobs would take him around the country, getting paid cash. Brother left D with his grandmother. Brother will even tell you that that was not a good decision, as grandmother let him do as he pleased. Brother also had an on again off again relationship with S. They have been together this way for probably 15 years now, but even when things were good between them, D remained with his grandmother most of the time. Brother and S have 2 kids together, they are 5 and 6. So a couple of months ago I see D and we were talking. We were talking about him having been in some trouble and being on probation. He told me about his PO doing a home visit and while they are sitting in the kitchen talking PO makes a comment about smelling pot. D says yeah, that's probably my grandmother. She seriously couldn't control herself even while a probation officer was in her house. The thing that gets me the most.... PO did nothing about it. D was underage, how can this PO not do anything? I could go on and on about D's upbringing but I think you get the gist of it. Oh and did I mention brother is an alcoholic and also loves his pot?
Aaron continues to do well. Still working in the jail garden. HE has now spent 2 birthdays in jail. As long as he stays out of trouble he should be home for his 23rd. I told him that I would kick his ass if he spent another birthday there. His reply was you can bet I'll be home!!!
