Is that even possible?

I was reading an article about a meth lab bust in our area. They discovered 65 one pot method labs in one house. They also found jars of urine. It seems meth addicts/makers are now recycling meth from urine. This just blows my mind. I wouldn't have thought there would be anything usable left by the time you pee it out, that anything "good" in meth would have been metabolized and used in the body. Shows what we know. Warning to parents, a new sign of a drug problem in our children has emerged. If you find a jar of urine, question it!!!

Peace still equals not blogging so much.

With Aaron in jail the peacefulness is still among us. Life's ordinary every day stresses are all we are dealing with. We are still visiting Aaron every Sunday and it has been wonderful spending time with him.
An update to the previous post on telling Aaron his "friend" was gone. I went to see him that Friday, the day his obituary was in the paper. As we were getting drinks from the machine in the visiting room he asked what I was up to. I told him that I didn't know if he had seen the paper today and if so I thought he might need somebody to talk to. He said he did see it, about an hour before I got there, he asked if it was an overdose. I told him what I knew and he was surprised. Not surprised that he was dead, surprised by how he died.

In other household news, my oldest son moved out about 3 weeks ago. Today my daughter and her sister will be signing a lease or an apartment they will be sharing. I am so happy for them, but to be selfish I am more happy for me. I have been eagerly awaiting an empty nest. Don't get me wrong I love my kids dearly but there comes a time in our lives where some moving on needs to happen, after all they are 25 and 26. I cut the apron strings a long time ago and now finally so have they.

Which of course brings me back again to Aaron. He will find out this month if he makes parole and will be released in December. If he is released he will come home. I know, I know, it's not what should be allowed, but like Tori, something feels right. Of course there will be the rules/contract. Boundaries will be set for all and we will proceed on with life. Aaron's proceeding will be completely up to him, but he will have to proceed forward to stay here.

I don't want to have the conversation again.

I found out today that another one of Aaron's friends has died. He was 24. I don't know how long they were "friends". I do know they had done drugs together. I may have me mentioned him in prior post, I don't remember. Last year after Aaron was arrested I had a conversation with his grandmother. She told me then he had almost died a couple of weeks prior to our conversation. He had overdosed. She found him blue and put her oxygen on him. She saved his life. He did not die of an overdose yesterday. He hung himself. Now I have to figure out how to tell Aaron once again that a friend has committed suicide.

It's all good.

No excitement, which is good. Strike that. The oldest son is moving out at the end of this week!! YAY!!! It's about damn time lol. It's all still good!!!
I've been visiting Aaron every Sunday. We are both enjoying these visits more than I can put into words. Still eligible or parole in December. He should know sometime next month if he will get it or not. He did make the statement last week that if he doesn't make it he will be devastated. He then went on to say that it won't be good, he will end up in prison. Note to self, bring this up at next visit and remind him the only thing he can control is his reaction. He is still working on the road crew at the jail and is near our area hood quite often. He said they will be picking up trash on our road this week so he will walk right in front of our house. I'm thinking about making a poster board sign to put in the yard for him to see, like "We love Aaron" or something. Then the funny evil side comes out and I think maybe I should leave a little bit of trash in the ditch. Give the inmates something to do HA HA.

I'm really enjoying our visits

We went and seen Aaron again this past Sunday. He seems to be enjoying the visits as much as I am. He has been sick this last week, he sounded very congested. He asked me if I could find out if there is any kind of financial help available to felons who want to go to college. It seems there are plenty of grants available for felons. I find it funny though (not really) that the only felony charge that can keep a person from getting grants for college is drug convictions. Personally I can see many other felony convictions that I feel should not be eligible. Why is it only drug convictions? Thankfully Aaron doesn't have drug convictions. Oh how proud that makes me? My son hasn't been convicted of a drug crime!! He only committed burglary and theft so he could buy drugs!! If that doesn't sound ridiculous lol.

Back to Aaron being sick.... it was pretty obvious Aaron wasn't dope sick but that first moment of realizing he was sick it was a thought. Does that thought ever go away?

I am conflicted!

I've been mulling it over and I just can't make up my mind on this. I am trying to do the "right" thing by not visiting Aaron very often. Hoping he will see what it is like to not have his family there if he chooses to follow the wrong path. Now the problem that is coming up is I would like to start visiting more often. My thinking right now is my son is sober (well maybe, see previous post). I want to be there for my son when he is sober. Who knows how long he will be sober when he gets out of jail. The odds are it won't be very long. The last couple of weeks a thought has been haunting me. My son WILL die from an OD. So how are the odds affected by not visiting? How are they affected if I do visit? I'm at war here in my head.

So I'm a little late!

We had a very good visit with Aaron. I got my hug, more than one actually. Aaron held on tight too. It felt so good. He seems to be getting it into his head that he is riding a fine line between county jail and prison. He brought it up several times. He doesn't want to mess up his class right now. If his class is changed he will go to prison. I'm not sure what this is doing for his addiction though. Time will certainly tell. He started a job at the jail the Monday after our visit. He didn't know at the time what he would be doing but he was hoping to be on the mowing crew. Seems very fitting for someone who owned their own landscaping business at the age of 18. Just one of the many things he lost.

So fast forward to today. My husband asked me to call and make an appointment to see Aaron. He (hubby) is having surgery on Monday and wants to see him before, just in case. So I hadn't quite gotten around to making the appointment this afternoon when Aaron calls me. A free call by the way. He did make the mowing crew but they kept them inside today because they found something in one of the work vans. Weed. Imagine that. Of course nobody claims it so all are punished. All are being threatened with having their class upgraded, which would mean prison for Aaron. Of course I asked him if it was his and he said no. Who knows? Aaron was able to talk to his brother and sister today also. They are in the loop of what was found in the van. We had our own conversation after hanging up with Aaron. Between the 3 off us putting all of our pieces of information together came up with..... the weed had been in the van for 2 weeks. So we have determined that these inmates have just been kicking it around the van for 2 weeks without anybody touching it. Now coming to this conclusion was actually very funny at the time with my oldest acting like one of the inmates on the van kicking weed around, and you know, it doesn't take a genius to figure out who has been smoking some pot.

I almost forgot (don't know how I could forget) Aaron is filing for shock probation this week. Please continue to hope and pray it is turned down.