I am conflicted!

I've been mulling it over and I just can't make up my mind on this. I am trying to do the "right" thing by not visiting Aaron very often. Hoping he will see what it is like to not have his family there if he chooses to follow the wrong path. Now the problem that is coming up is I would like to start visiting more often. My thinking right now is my son is sober (well maybe, see previous post). I want to be there for my son when he is sober. Who knows how long he will be sober when he gets out of jail. The odds are it won't be very long. The last couple of weeks a thought has been haunting me. My son WILL die from an OD. So how are the odds affected by not visiting? How are they affected if I do visit? I'm at war here in my head.

So I'm a little late!

We had a very good visit with Aaron. I got my hug, more than one actually. Aaron held on tight too. It felt so good. He seems to be getting it into his head that he is riding a fine line between county jail and prison. He brought it up several times. He doesn't want to mess up his class right now. If his class is changed he will go to prison. I'm not sure what this is doing for his addiction though. Time will certainly tell. He started a job at the jail the Monday after our visit. He didn't know at the time what he would be doing but he was hoping to be on the mowing crew. Seems very fitting for someone who owned their own landscaping business at the age of 18. Just one of the many things he lost.

So fast forward to today. My husband asked me to call and make an appointment to see Aaron. He (hubby) is having surgery on Monday and wants to see him before, just in case. So I hadn't quite gotten around to making the appointment this afternoon when Aaron calls me. A free call by the way. He did make the mowing crew but they kept them inside today because they found something in one of the work vans. Weed. Imagine that. Of course nobody claims it so all are punished. All are being threatened with having their class upgraded, which would mean prison for Aaron. Of course I asked him if it was his and he said no. Who knows? Aaron was able to talk to his brother and sister today also. They are in the loop of what was found in the van. We had our own conversation after hanging up with Aaron. Between the 3 off us putting all of our pieces of information together came up with..... the weed had been in the van for 2 weeks. So we have determined that these inmates have just been kicking it around the van for 2 weeks without anybody touching it. Now coming to this conclusion was actually very funny at the time with my oldest acting like one of the inmates on the van kicking weed around, and you know, it doesn't take a genius to figure out who has been smoking some pot.

I almost forgot (don't know how I could forget) Aaron is filing for shock probation this week. Please continue to hope and pray it is turned down.

I have an appointment

at 8:30am on Sunday to see Aaron. If that isn't just crazy?!? Making an appointment to visit my child. He has been moved to the community service center at the jail. Here we go again with less restrictive custody. I wouldn't take bets on how long this will last before he gets caught huffing again, but in the meantime I have the overwhelming urge to hug my son. I hope it's allowed!!


Came across this today. Thought I would share.

P.S. I never did get my pedicure but somebody else didn't get a radio either lol.

The system fails and lives quickly change forever

Coming home from an overnight trip with my daughter and friends, we are just a couple of miles from home, when I notice the all to familiar signs of a wreck. There are differences in the signs between a wreck and an extremely bad wreck. In both you have the signs of the cars fluids leaking on the pavement. You might be able to see some twinkles from the sun hitting broken glass that was missed in the cleanup. If a vehicle left the road you will see the tire marks in the grass. The difference that can be noted between the two is bright orange spray paint. There was bright orange paint on the pavement. When I got home I mentioned it to my husband and he said he hadn't noticed it, but that is pretty much par for the course with him though, I don't know why. After getting everything out of the car and put away I grab my laptop and begin reading the news online. I come across an article about the wreck. A 20 year old is sitting behind bars for DUI and reckless homicide. They have not released the details yet other than two cars were involved and the person in the other car is dead. I am assuming by what I saw that it was head-on. Looking at this kids facebook, his life revolves around drinking. Pictures of empty bottles, trash can full of empty beer boxes, posts about going to Fast Eddies. The last post he made was just after the wreck from his phone, it was "don't drink and drive, period.
Here are some other posts:

Is it live and learn or do it cuz you were told not to?

March 24 at 11:45am via iPhone

Posetion parafanelia posetion of stolen property witch was a street sign and a DUI. Haha got 7 days in jail

April 1 at 4:15pm

The freedom of a drivers license is taken for granted. Take it from a guy that doesn't have one to tell you don't do anything that can get it taken away. It makes havin fun sooo much harder. Just stop and think how many times you get in your car or truck to go somewhere ain't gonna happen if you can't drive. So stop the stupid shit and learn from a stupid guy.it aint worth the trouble. Tip of the day.

May 10 at 8:20pm via iPhone
If only he had learned after his first DUI just a few of months ago. The heartache both of these families must be feeling now. Only 7 days? He isn't old enough to legally drink and is was only worth 7 days. 

Trouble again

According to the letter I received from Aaron today, if he gets into trouble one more time he will do 90 days in the hole.
Apparently Aaron had the TV remote and was watching something on TV when a cellmate wanted the remote to change the channel. I don't know the rest of the details but basically Aaron took his frustration out on the dudes face. So Aaron's fix for this issue is for me to put money on the books so he can buy a radio and he can just listen to it and stay out of trouble. I don't know why I find his solution so hilarious. Maybe because it is so typical Aaron. He let me know how much the radio cost too. Wasn't that just special of him. It would only cost me $40 or a $20 radio, that in reality is probably worth $5. I personally don't see it happening anytime soon, I would rather spend the $40 on a nice pedicure. You make your bed you lie in it!

1 year ago

I received a call from Aaron saying he was going to jail for stealing stuff out of Bugg's garage. Bugg was Aaron's boss at one time. It began Aaron's journey into the legal system and our journey into at least some peace in between.

I went to see Aaron today. He had called my phone on Wednesday but I didn't answer it. While I was talking to him I told him I didn't answer because I figured he was wanting to know when I was going to put some money on the books for him. I had told him I would a couple of weeks ago but hadn't gotten around to it. Turns out he was calling because he was having an extremely shitty day and wanted to talk to his  mom. Of course it made me feel bad, I apologized and then let it go. It's not my fault he is in there and couldn't talk to me when he was having a bad day. I also learned today that Aaron is not eligible for parole until September, not July like I thought, so we have a couple more months of peace anyway.

ETA. I just called the prisoner information line out of curiosity. According to it Aaron is not eligible for parole until December. YAY!!!

2 years ago

I meant to write this on Sunday but anyway two years ago Aaron was in the hospital on a ventilator fighting for his life. Here it is 2 years later and by some miracle he is still alive.

It's ironic that this week two of Aaron's "friends" have come into my store. One was on his way to a two month rehab. He was recently arrested for shoplifting. He stopped in to pick up smokes to take with him. I wished him good luck and told him I would be thinking about him. He is the one that taught them all  how to shoot up. I always pictured a much different conversation with him, and not a good one. The second "friend" is the one that sold Aaron pills the night he ended up in the hospital 2 years ago. I ran him out of the hospital when he came to visit Aaron and told him if Aaron died it would be on him. I asked him if he was staying clean, he replied, yes ma'am!! Went on to say he was working in the coal mine and going to school and wanted to become a game warden. He said after everything happened he decided he needed to grow up because he was going nowhere. It's funny how easy it is for somebody to stand there and lie to another person face to face. He is not clean. He looked like crap and I guess he didn't realize since he didn't see me, but his first trip to the sales counter he asked about small pipes. I'm not talking pipes for plumbing either. I'm so glad we don't sell those types of pipes.