It's official!

As of November 11, 2013 I became a coal miners momma!
Of course that means no paycheck for three weeks so I have been providing gas money that he intends to pay back. It also means no money to make his car payment or any other payment for that matter. No, I didn't offer to step in and help! Instead, he talked to his creditors before hand and worked out arrangements with every last one of them! I couldn't be more proud of Aaron as he continues to become a responsible adult!!

On the path!!

Five days ago it ended. Parole is over. He is no longer supervised. Other than the label (convicted felon) and a few rules that follow the label, Aaron is a free man!! I assume he is also drug free. I try to keep it out of my business. I do know he is doing well! He still lives with us. He still has a job. He still has a vehicle. He still has a girlfriend. This last weekend he went on a Cursillo retreat. Don't ask me to explain exactly what that is because I have no clue and didn't ask. I know it had to do with church. I know that we wrote letters to Aaron for him to receive while there. He didn't know about the letters! When he came home Sunday evening he thanked me for our letter and said there was only one way to describe the weekend.... life changing. Aaron also received a job offer. In my un-nosiness I haven't asked what company he would be working for. I do know it's coalmine related. It requires him to take an underground coalmine class. This class started on Monday evening and Aaron managed to get into the class. Monday morning I had surgery to hopefully restore my hearing, afterwards when I was being wheeled down the hallway to leave, Aaron is telling me about getting into the class and grinning from ear to ear. Seeing him this happy is amazing. It's more exciting than being able to hear again!!

And so the story goes...

Within a week of getting his monitor off Aaron had a job. In the beginning he was working 70+ hours a week. He was trying to save money for a vehicle. He tried to guilt trip me into cosigning an auto loan. Said he was over the past and everybody else should be too. Oh hell no!! You really just said that? What part of your past have you tried to correct yet. You cannot move on from your past until you correct it. He said fine, I'll figure it out. Figure it out he did! He opened a savings account because no bank would let him open a checking account (part of the past is his bad checks he wrote all over town that he hasn't corrected yet!!). He is now the proud owner of a Lincoln Navigator with a very high interest rate from a buy here pay here lot. He is also paying his very high monthly insurance premium. He figured it out. He did it all without help. He now has his independence and the ability to get into trouble. I have caught myself having bad thoughts. Is he clean? I don't know. Outward appearances say he is. Some actions make me wonder. I'm finding that I'm reading into those actions because I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall again. And what are those actions you ask? Well, the normal actions of a 23 year old male!! Actions any other parent wouldn't think anything of but actions a POA notices even when they try not to. Random trips into town, not coming home until 1 AM. Yeah that kind of stuff!! You know what I'm talking about!! See what I mean, reading into it, making it something it is not. One thing I'm 100% certain of.... he's not shooting up if he is doing anything. Most days I am able to let it go. Some days I'm not. Do I really believe he is using... NO! But the thoughts creep in none the less. One thing Aaron has not done... He has not set up his payment plan for his fines, bad checks and county jail time. I expect he will be back in jail very soon over this. They don't play around with non payment of fines and fees. Not my problem, not my problem, not my business!!

Today things change!

Aaron's monitor comes off today at 10 AM. Last night I woke up to the thought that I need to keep my purse and car keys in the bedroom with me at night. I have not had the feeling that I needed to at any point yet! I think it's time to break out the reading material again! I didn't realize how much I have relied on this monitor to feel peace! Hopefully Aaron proves quickly that my feelings are once again absurd!

It's about time for an update!!

Life has been hectic to say the least but I am happy to say it's been a good hectic for the most part. It has been an adjustment having Aaron back in the house. I don't mean that to sound bad but it had been just me and the hubs for over a year. Aaron is still on electronic monitoring. It has been quite the pain in the ass. A little description.... Aaron has a monitor around his ankle, looks like a watch. There is also a small "machine" in the house plugged into the wall. This "machine" uses cell phone towers to transmit it's signal. It's signal is dependent on the monitor Aaron wears. It's signal is also dependent on how well the cell phone towers are getting and receiving signals. If it rains, or is cloudy, and sometimes even windy this signal is disrupted. If it is disrupted there is a company that calls and Aaron and he has to take a piece off of the machine and take it outside for 5 minutes so it can connect again. The first couple of days this wasn't to big of a deal but by the end of the first week they were calling 7 to 8 times a day, one of those calls was around 2 AM. Aaron didn't have a phone so they were calling my cell phone since we don't have home service. Now when you miss answering a phone call they assume Aaron is not where he is supposed to be. I got a call from the probation dept. asking me to verify that Aaron was at home at a certain time. I mentioned to the PO when he called how often the phone calls were happening and at 2 AM I'm sleeping because I have to work and was told they have a lot of problems with the signals sometimes. It must have been coincidence that the call frequency dropped 75% after my complaint.

Ok enough of how things work lol! Aaron is doing great!! I kept him busy for several weeks. He painted the inside of the store and replaced the drop ceiling tiles. He has painted 3 rooms at home plus wood work and cabinets. He has been busting his ass looking for a job. Jobs are out there if you look for them. Even for felons. If someone tells you they can't find a job it's one of two reasons. They aren't looking very hard or they are not willing to take just any job until something better comes along. Aaron has had to turn down two jobs last week because he is not allowed to leave the state of Kentucky. We live 20 minutes from the state of Indiana. The two jobs required travel into Indiana. Probation dept said to bad, you can't go. He had an interview yesterday with the city gas dept. Four applied, two are being considered. Aaron is one of the two. Aaron has somebody pulling for him for this job. That person is the woman that Aaron stole from. Imagine that!!

Aaron is eating us out of house and home. Anybody willing to donate to the food budget? LOL! He has taken over most of the care of Maizy. He's still not willing to get up and take her out and feed her at 5 AM. I'm OK with that most of the time since I have other animals to take care of at that time anyway. About three weeks ago he had given Maizy a bath and she was running and jumping all over the house. At some point she jumped onto the couch and over my little 4 lb dog, Spirit, catching her on the head with her foot. It caused a head injury that we weren't sure she would live through. She is 11 years old but still in good health which worked to her advantage. She has been recovering nicely. 3 weeks ago she couldn't walk, today most people wouldn't notice what is wrong with her.

Maizy and Spirit on guard duty

I am doing good in the enabling/codependent dept. I did help Aaron get a prepay cell phone. He worked hard for it! He is now responsible for his check-in phone calls. Potential employers can get a hold of him. I have let him use my car twice. Once for a job interview and the other time to go to the college to get help with filling out his college app and filing for financial aid. It has been easier than I thought to trust him. On occasion mistrust rears it's ugly head but has been completely unjustified. 

Today we are good!!!

Finally!! Call number one!!!

Yesterday I received the call from parole for the home placement assessment. They are not going to do a home visit. They are aware of the firearms in the house and aware that Aaron does not have easy access to them. Aaron's home placement was approved. Now I sit a wait for the next phone call. The phone call to pick him up and bring him home. According to Aaron everybody that has been released on HIP have gone home the day after the home placement assessment. THAT IS TODAY!!!!! We are hoping anyway. I didn't get the call until 3:30 pm. I'm going to assume since the call was later in the day that it may not be until tomorrow. I told Aaron the same thing, hope for Wednesday but don't be surprised if it's Thursday!

I'm surprisingly ready for this!!!



Edited to add: As of 10:15 CST, the jail website now has a scheduled release date for Aaron of 2-21-13.
My boy is coming home tomorrow!!!!

Two down four to six to go

Until he is released! I'm getting antsy! I catch myself looking to far ahead and need to get myself grounded to the here and now again. Right now my biggest fear is relapse when he gets out, my second biggest fear, which is were I need to stop going for the moment is will Aaron take care of Maizy when the hubby and I take our annual trip to Vegas towards the end of April. I actually catch myself thinking about it more often. I keep coming up with alternative plans. Plans that can happen at a moments notice if the need is there. I feel like I will need a babysitter for Aaron to make sure he is taking care of the animals. I almost wish he wasn't getting out until May now. Normally my daughter would stay at the house while we are gone. That is not an option this year but I am able to take the little dog and sugar gliders to her house. I can board Maizy if I have to so that only leaves the cats at home who for the most part as long as they have food and water they take care of themselves. Daughter will be able to stop in and check on them also. I worry  more about relapse happening while we are gone. Then I start worrying about whether or not Aaron will have a job by then. How will he get to work and home. I can't leave a vehicle for him. We do not live within walking distance of anything! So the plan changes to asking my oldest son to stay at the house with Aaron but he also doesn't have a car but I am willing to leave a vehicle for him to use. OK, now that I have it all out there maybe I can get myself back into the present!!