He called last night around 10. This of course pissed me off, he knows I don't stay up that late. So it wasn't good since I was already pissed because he lied to me. The whole conversation was bad. Both of us yelling. He still swears they told him it was diluted not positive, and there is no way it could have been positive, whatever.
So today has been pretty shitty. I wrote Aaron a letter and basically told him we love him and we aren't giving up on or abandoning him. He just has to stay clean for us to be there for him. Also with the letter I included an index card with an inspirational/motivational quote on it. I have written several and plan to send him one every couple of days. I hope something sinks into head. I can't remember if I put it in the last post or not but Aaron is in for 24 days not 20.
i'm sorry. it is SUCH a rollercoaster. first you want to believe, then you are afraid to believe, then just when you DO believe, they relapse.
ReplyDeleteevenutally, you learn to get off the rollercoaster. but it takes years.
I'm sorry you're going through this too. And I do want to say.....I've heard that having diluted urine makes it a "flunked test",....just like a positive test. Could this be the wording of the result when you were told it ? I'm not trying to be naive or at all falsely encouraging ....just really am wondering if that's what this could be about.
ReplyDeleteMy mom and I used to yell back and forth to each other, across the phone lines. The phone lines from jail, or a crappy hotel, or from a pay phone at the strip club, or some other bar. It always ended in yelling, and then I would be angry for days. She was probably angry for days. Five years later...my mother and I never yell at each other. It takes a long, long time with lots of ups and downs...but, this is only temporary. Keep ya head up.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry - I am on that rollercoaster too and it is so hard. One day to the next we never know what is going to happen.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Maybe some jail time will do him good. That just sucks writing it but I do think if my son spent 2 weeks in jail it might make a difference.