What we don't know

We will never know everything our addict has done. I know that I don't want to know. If Aaron ever decides to share of course I will listen even though I know it is going to be hell hearing about that side of his life. In the last few days I have gained some insight on Aaron's addiction. He has been using longer than he has said. No surprise there. Going through his belongings that I picked up from Bill's I found a timeline he created. 

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In 2000 the timeline begins. His first use of marijuana. It's heart breaking. He was 10. What hurts me even more is I know where he got it. He stole it from me. I now feel the need to explain my own drug use. I have been a causal "smoker" for years. By casual I mean a maybe a couple times a year if that. I am in no way an addict and since I have found out about Aaron's addiction I have not smoked. I have also never tried any other drug. There is a story that goes along with Aaron stealing the pot. It's really not worth going into other than to say, we did bust him out, he confessed, I never dreamed he had actually smoked it. I believed his story. He was only 10.

In Aaron's belongings there are many worksheets that Aaron has completed. Some are from his time at Boulware Mission others are from the drug court program. The following letter he had written to himself shows that he "gets" it. Of course I have to wonder, knowing how conniving an addict can be, does he really "get it" or is he just saying what he knows everybody wants to hear? Tough question and only he knows the true answer.

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