The team

We have come together for a fight against this dragon my daughter carries in her breast. We are strong, we are bald (yes, even me), and we are ready for this journey. She will be held up by every ounce of strength we have. I will probably not post much here about her struggle but you can find the updates on Facebook by clicking the link.

Team Dragonslayer

Thank you all for your prayers! Please keep them coming.

The plan

It is now set in stone, although a curve ball can be thrown at anytime. Moving forward, Tasha will have a port put in on the 25th and begin chemo on the 27th. She will receive 4 treatments given every 3 weeks. They have stretched this out due to Wyatt. Wyatt will be born at 34 weeks. After his birth Tasha will start a different chemo given weekly for 12 weeks followed by a radical mastectomy. Now that plan is completely dependent on the cancers response to chemo. As long as it is responding we can stick to this plan. If not the order of the birth, weekly treatments, and mastectomy can change. 

Please keep the prayers coming!!

I have started a fundly account for Tasha. Please share it if you can!

Tasha the Dragon Slayer

Life keeps dealing shit

It just won't stop! I haven't written anything since November. Not that I haven't had anything to say but because I haven't felt the need to get things out of my head. Aaron is still being Aaron. I still believe he is using but have let it go for the most part. There are more pressing issues at hand now.

Last post my daughter had announced she got married. It didn't take long for the announcement to come that I will be a nana. I must say that I am super excited about this. She had some issues at the beginning of the pregnancy. Some minor spotting led to the discovery of a fibroid. It grew to 11cm but has now stopped growing. The risk of complications from it are low at this point. It's a BOY!!!! The focus remains on my daughter as she was diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday. I don't understand how this can be happening. How does a 28 year old woman who is 19 weeks pregnant get a diagnoses of breast cancer? I'm at a complete loss. This kick in the chest has been harder than learning my son is an addict. Things are moving extremely fast. She had an ultrasound on her breast Tuesday. A biopsy Wednesday, a diagnoses on Thursday to an appointment with an oncologist on Friday. It has been a whirlwind. There are still test that haven't come back yet. We will find out more in the coming week. We ask for prayers for my daughter Tasha and my grandson Wyatt.

Baby Wyatt

A little diversion for me.

We all need a distraction from our life when it comes to our addicts. I have been very distracted for the last couple of hours. My distraction still brought me here so maybe I can get this anger that the distraction has caused out of my system. My daughter has never really caused us any problems. Not even during her teenage years. I'm always hearing mothers talk about how their teenage daughters cause them so much grief. We've never had that issue. Well there was that one time when she decided to smart off and I popped her in the mouth. So once! She's 28, has worked the same full time job for many years. Actually she has worked for me all this time. She started dating this guy in May. I'm not very fond of him but she is a grown woman and she doesn't live with me so I can't say anything about it. I've let her live her life. He has 4 kids that his mother has custody of. Babies momma lost custody and he wasn't ready to step up to the plate apparently. Hell that boy will never be ready to step up. He hasn't held a job. He got another job 2 weeks ago, he's already quit. The house they are renting has a lot of problems. The landlord took out the septic tank and never replaced it. Just left a hole in the ground among other things. They only paid half of Octobers rent. Told the landlord they weren't going to give him anymore money and that they would be out in 30 days. He gave them 7 to get out. They are now moving their stuff into storage. Oh and did I mention that when they moved into this house that babies momma moved in with them? Yeah, don't even get me started on that. My daughter was the only one working. OK I got started on it. My daughter has been on her own for several years now. She'd never been late with rent. I cosigned her car loan and not once felt the need to ask her if she was making her payments. She made the final payment a few months ago. How did they get behind on rent. I don't get it!! They are now basically homeless. They don't know where they are going to stay. They haven't asked me if they can stay here and I won't offer. Today my daughter comes in for her shift at 12, around 12:30 I'm heading out the door to get somethings done and she informs me that they got married this morning. DISTRACTION!!! When the fuck did my family become so dysfunctional?

And then, some more of the story.

I'll probably never be able to use Paul Harvey's line, "And now for the rest of the story". I don't think our story ever ends!
When I found Aaron had broke into the garage my husband was in Wyoming. I was here by myself to deal with putting my dog down and Aaron once again stealing from us alone. I chose not to call the police and I justify my choice with the excuse " I had to take my dog to the vet". Yes, I am completely aware that it was a complete cop out (no pun intended). I know what I should have done. I didn't do it. I couldn't do it. I thought I would be able to if I ever needed to but when it came right down to it, well. No sense in beating a dead horse now.
This was on a Tuesday and Saturday I sent Aaron a text asking about my husbands stuff. He was supposed to have gotten it out of pawn on Friday. He said he would bring as soon as he could. He came by a couple of hours later with seven fishing poles. I had company at the time so there wasn't any talking. A quick I love you before he left.

I didn't talk or text with Aaron again for a week when I sent him this text.

It's taken awhile but I'm finally ready to say my piece. I don't think you realize exactly what you have caused this time. You sent me texts asking about pappaw and in that conversation you find out about spirit and offered to dig the hole. When I went to get the shovel I find that you have broken into the garage. You know how the rest of our conversation went that day. As the day went on it became apparent that you only asked about pappaw to find out why I was home. Offering to dig the hole gave you an excuse to come back to the house to take some more. You had a hidden agenda during the whole conversation. It makes me feel extremely betrayed by you. Any conversations we have from this point on I will always question if you have ulterior motives. I feel that I'll never be able to tell you any plans I have for fear that you take our absence from the house as permission to steal again. You have hurt my heart before but this time you hurt my soul. You are once again heading down a dark path. It's one that we can't follow you on. As long as you are on this path we cannot and will not help you. We have stood behind you many times but right now we have to step back and let you find your way back. You know its only a matter of time before Morgan knows what is going on. You are fooling yourself thinking you have a good relationship with her. Considering what you are hiding from her right now. You are trying to build a relationship on your dishonesty. We also know you are not having money problems because you're paying your bills. Between the phone calls and knocks on our door from the people you owe, we know your not paying the bills. I hope you find your way back soon. And as always I love you.

This was Aaron's reply

I don't even really know what to say. But a lot of stuff your thinking is wrong. I'm sorry. Hopefully one day things will be back to normal. I called homecrafters today and I'm picking up the window tomorrow. I love you too.

I asked him to set me straight on what I was wrong on. I never received a reply.

To answer the question asked in the comments on my last post.... They steal from us because history has taught them we won't call the police. My opinion anyway!

And then...

I decided Tuesday morning it was time to let go of my little dog Spirit. She was 12 years old, completely blind, had a brain injury and just no longer seemed happy. I made an appointment for 10:30 at the vets office. Around 8:30 Aaron sent me a text asking about something so I told him what I had planned. He asked what time I was going and we planned that I would let him know when I was on my home and he would come out to the house and dig a hole for me to bury her. Since I didn't want Aaron in the garage I thought it was best to go ahead and get the shovel out before I left. On my way back through the garage I felt a strong breeze hit me. It was windy outside but I knew I shouldn't be feeling this breeze. I found a window broken. The glass on the inside. This window is two panes of glass. One pane is fixed, the other slides to the left to open. The one that was broke is the one that slides. The frame for the glass was also gone. I went outside to that side of the garage and found a 5 gallon bucket turned over right under the window. I also found a small pry bar laying on the ground. Taking a quick look around the garage I couldn't find anything missing but my husband is such a pack rat (hoarder) it would be hard to tell anyway. In a hurry because of the dog, I wedged a piece of plywood into the window and propped it up with a steel bar. At the very least I figured somebody could still get in but I would notice if the wood and bar were out of place. I went back outside to the window, used a black marker and wrote on the wood YOU'RE BUSTED. Aaron started calling me while I was in the vets office. I didn't answer. On my way home he sent a text that said he was sorry he didn't mean for the window to get broke. I replied back with what did you take. A few of my husbands fishing poles, he has pawned them. There's more to the story but that's it in a nutshell.

Where we stand

I am currently standing on the ground looking down a 100' well while Aaron stands at the bottom of it.

He quit his job with the coal mine contractor due to not working steady. Went back to landscaping. Has now quit landscaping and has gone to a company that has him back in the mines working steady. He has passed several drug tests. Even the random one they threw at him. All sounds great doesn't it? The calls keep coming from bill collectors. They were even coming to my house looking for him. They seemed to have trouble understanding the words, he doesn't live here, until I finally got shitty with them. All of his mail still comes to our house. He needs to change that. This morning, my husband brings me a piece of mail addressed to Aaron. It's from a pawn shop. He said he didn't know if I wanted to look at it or not. I didn't want to. I said I would think about it. So of course I opened it. Yes, I know that I shouldn't have but I had to see if it was something of ours that we haven't missed yet. He has pawned a rifle. I don't know who it belongs to but I know it's not ours and I know it's not Aarons. I can only believe that it is stolen. Aaron is a convicted felon. He cannot be in possession of a firearm. Even tho it is technically at a pawn shop he can still go to jail for possession of it.

I have been working really hard with the phrase "not my circus, not my monkeys". I say it often. Trying my best to stay out of it. It's extremely difficult to stay out of it when the monkey is my son.